Catherine and Kathleen McAuley spoke with NPR's Dick Gordon, host of The Story with Dick Gordon on May 31, 2007 about their decision to have children together. Below is the email that Kathleen sent when she first got in touch with the show. The photograph shows Kathleen McAuley (on the right) and Catherine McAuley, with their children Kace, Rowan and Georgia.
What makes a mom?
My partner and I are about 30 and having our first child, a son, due June 6, 2007. She is the one who is pregnant. We have been together for 6 years, she has changed her last name to my last name and if it were legal I'd marry her in a minute.
But, as the partner who is not "having" the baby, it's a real challenge to share the joy of simply being an expectant mom. It's hard because not only is it pretty obvious that I'm not 7 months pregnant so how could I be having a son in two months, people always want to know and feel totally comfortable asking intimate details about, "How did you decide who was going to get pregnant? Is the donor someone you know? How are you going to explain the gay thing to your kid?" and on and on and on. It's never the usual, "You'll be so tired, it's the most amazing thing" but more like, "Soooo, what's going to happen if you break up?"
And people ask us these questions like we've never thought of these things - they completely assume so many things. he hardest part is just being able to tell already that I, somehow, come off as not a "real" parent or as less of a mom than my partner simply because she is the one who is pregnant. And, I know from many groups and lists that I belong to and friends that I have, that this is a problem through gay communities in this country and I've always wanted to hear a story from my side, the side of the woman who is, too, having her first baby - but not giving birth. I think it would be an eye opening experience for gay and straight people alike to hear this story - and I'd be happy to share mine.
She did share her story, and you can listen here.
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